Why I broke up with Facebook
Why I Deactivated Facebook….
I will admit that this decision has been a battle of mine for about a month and a half. As a business owner and socialite, I have often struggled with the question. “Should I keep my Facebook?”. While there are so many great things I can name that have happened from having a Facebook account since 2008, I can name countless bad things as well. I’ve made the excuse time and time again that I am keeping Facebook for “business purposes”…..”and lie detector test determined, that was a lie!” ? While I marketed heavy on Facebook, I socialized a lot, and I scrolled often times as well. I thought I had a great strategy by posting only and logging off. I even had some of my posts scheduled by the Hootesuite app, to try to assist in my business marketing. I believed I had my business marketing strategies for social media in order, yet I still found myself victim to the daily scroll. You guys know the scroll. The one where you are just going to reply to a few notifications and then you find yourself sucked in? Your few minutes then grow into and hour of unproductive foolishness. I would sometimes justify my Facebook relationship by saying it wasn’t that bad, because I only watch T.V. once a week. The truth is, Facebook was just as bad for my unproductiveness (It may even be worse).
Once I owned up to my truth that Facebook was becoming too much for me, I began to fall back and start evaluating. I was able to put a few things into perspective that I did not once see before. Here are my top three:
1. Facebook makes it hard for you to be private with people who don’t know you personally, and makes it too easy for people who claim to know you personally to become too private in reality. It is a great tool for networking and meeting people you don’t know. There are those moments where you want to share family pictures, pictures of your friends, intended to stay connected. Yet, you sometimes forget you still have some of your Facebook friends that you have shared a portion of your life with, that you have never met formally. They can develop their own story of who you are, and how you are based on what you share. You literally have to create a greater sense of mindfulness with all of your posts, if you want to lead a more private life. Now while Facebook claims to make you more connected with your family and friends, I do not believe it does well at doing so. Facebook does well at keeping others aware of what’s going on in the lives of family members and friends. It displays current events, but it does not keep you connected. When status updates are seen, it gives the illusion that you have “stayed in touch”. Often times reality is…not so much. To be honest, it creates lazy friends and loved ones. I consider myself an “analog girl in a digital world”. Again, social media and technology has been great to me as a business owner. When it comes to maintaining personal relationships it has not. To keep me grounded I still do small things like send stationary invitations to events and gatherings at my home to be personable. I actually pick up the phone hold long phone conversations with my closest friends and family members. Because I work with my hands constantly, texting is not the best means of communication for me, so I use little words when texting. If I am connected to you, instead of resorting to the old Facebook “HBD” post on your wall, I will take time to actually call and sing. At a minimum I will text you on your birthday, but special moments like that, I try not to allow social media to be the only way I acknowledge a persons significance in my life. I do believe Facebook is a great way to follow public figures, but I believe that holds different intentions. To the extent I allowed myself to believe sometimes that it was a tool to make connections, and stay connected to family and friends; I have allowed it to be a distraction, and handicap and a crutch in my life when it comes to growing and maintaining healthy relationships with friends and family.
2. The Law of Writing, Sharing, Reposting Magnifies. I am a firm believer that writing things down causes manifestation. When you write it is a power source. So even when you stop writing/ typing there is a lasting form of expression that continues to exist. Even on social media, after something is deleted, it still has been written. Once seen, it has power manifest into the universe. The problem is not everyone wants to manifest positivity, or meaningful information. When something bad in the news happens and the story is shared on Facebook, it has the ability to be shared over and over again. The negativity is maginified and intensified, share after share and comment after comment. While there are tons of inspirational quotes, there are even more books that I can read instead. While I thought may be missing out on current events and news, I am actually missing out on a bunch of hear say. While I was not watching t.v. I actually was getting a daily dose of a reality show when I logged on. While looking down on my phone in a true reality moment for a 3 minute scroll, I missed countless 3 minutes to be present in that moment. Because of the engaging factor of Facebook, it’s easy to overspend your time on there, and I don’t have time to waste anymore.
3. Facebook is no longer set up for a business to market successfully for free. I can remember the days when I initially got onto Facebook to market my business. It was free and it was profitable through my personal page. Now in order for a business page to truly market to different demographics of people, you must pay to promote your business through Facebook. Without the payments through Facebook advertising, your business page will have a hard time marketing to your friends. Once I realized this, I discovered that it was not as beneficial to my business. Facebook will get you exposure. It will get you likes and publicity……But in order to truly make money marketing on Facebook, you will have to put out money. I’ve done my fair share…..I didn’t see any greater return on my investment. Facebook also makes it hard to keep your business page if you deactivate your personal page. It’s just another way to keep you interactive. I allowed myself to be held to that mess for so long, until I got tired. It took me three days to plan my exit from Facebook. I wanted to keep my business pages active. So I had to create a new Facebook page without any friends just to keep my business pages going. (Do not go looking for me. I will not add you lol) Once I created that page. I had to add my new profile as a friend to my old Facebook profile. From there after two days of being Facebook friends with each other. I was able to add my new profile as my admin to run my business pages. This was complicated, but necessary for me to do what I always intended to do….Facebook for business. I will keep everyone posted, on how keeping these business pages this way actually working out for my business. Currently, there isn’t much going on any of the posts I have shared on my pages. Feel free to like both pages on Facebook Hair By Ebony E.Styles Stroder and Ebony N. Stroder- Author, Business Coach, Public Speaker. I may do a blog post on my experience on my business pages operating without my personal page.
In sharing my reasons, this is not my way of convicting anyone else that uses Faceboook. I truly believe everything is safe, but in moderation. I am realizing, Facebook very well could have been an addiction for me. I personally have not been able to find that moderation so I this is my first attempt by deactivating my account. Choosing to do one thing always means choosing to not do something else. It’s a universal law. And for every good thing I can do on Facebook, I can think of something better that I’m not yet doing that I could do with that time instead. It really is that simple. My reasons may seem extreme to some, but they are my reasons. I wanted to share because I have gotten several text messages asking where I am. I even had someone text me to ask me if I deleted them from my account. I’ve only been off of Facebook for 8 days so I thought that was kind of funny. I am not sure if this deactivation is temporary, or if this is permanent. I haven’t missed a beat with my hair business. I have sold t-shirts and books this week as well through my website. I have been extremely productive, and my creativity is at a peek. I think I’m actually regaining some brain cells. ? In closing I wanted to leave you guys with some final thoughts of “What if?” that came to mind for me while thinking What if there were no Facebook…..
What if the next time I have 5 minutes in line at the store, instead of checking Facebook, I strike up a conversation or a smile with the people around me?
What if the next time I have 2 minutes at a traffic light, instead of checking Facebook, I say a prayer to God of the universe?
What if when I have a 15 minute break during the day, instead of checking Facebook, I put some time into planning a meaningful evening with my boo?
What if when I have 30 minutes before bed, instead of checking Facebook, I read a spiritual masterpiece that changes my life and the lives of those around me?
What if the next time I went to the gym, instead of checking in and posting a selfie, I encouraged the woman next to me in the mirror that appears heavier than me?
What if when I have my lunch break at work, instead of checking Facebook, I strike up a meaningful conversation with a co-worker and ask them about their life?
What if the next time I get an hour on the weekend to relax, instead of checking Facebook, I put on some jamming music and work on my dance moves?
What if the next time I feel like spending 20 minutes crafting a silly status message that will surely garner lots of *likes* on Facebook, instead I spend 20 minutes writing a personal note to somebody I care about?
What if the next time I meet somebody new, instead of immediately looking them up on Facebook when I get home, I embrace the adventure and mystery of getting to know somebody new by actually spending time with them?
So many what if’s….so much lost time that can’t be made up for.
Learn. Grow. Get Better today.
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P.S. I am not totally off of all social media, just Facebook. You can follow me on Instagram at @ebonynstroder