Some funny Mother’s Day Aftermath

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So, we just came down from celebrating Mother’s Day. Shouldn’t Mother’s Day be everyday? Without the celebration and the gifts, a woman’s job is never done. Let’s be honest, moms do a lot. Whether single or married the role of a mom is constant. The saying, “momma’s baby, daddy’s maybe” has so much more meaning to it, than if the father is in fact the father. When you have children, you will always be mom. No matter what, motherhood is your responsibility. I know you are great at multi tasking, checking home work, giving hugs and kisses at night, showing up at school events, volunteering to be a part of the PTO. You attend all of your children’s extra curricular activities. Your kids love your cooking and baked treats. You save money well so well with your coupons. You are organized and set a wonderful tone for your home. Your wash all of the clothes and fold everyone’s laundry. You wake up and begin your day with prayer over your children. When you go to bed you are completely satisfied, knowing that you gave it your all. You are Super mom, Wonder Woman, or some form of Super Ninja, that the force is with every single day, to accomplish all of these dynamic tasks. You are absolutely amazing! You are the best Mom ever and you SLAY!  And now that Mother’s Day is over….I will say it for all the moms that want to keep it real! We are tired!!  We feel over worked and under paid! For everything we did not do on Mother’s Day, taking a break to be celebrated, we are now playing catch up. Seriously, as rewarding as motherhood can be, one day is just not enough. I honestly think we deserve quarterly celebrations. At the end of every season, there should be a celebration that we are still standing, and we haven’t lost our damn minds. Here are a few funny thoughts that come to mind in my journey in Motherhood. Be advised, these are my internal thoughts. These are things I want to say, wish I could say, but I can’t because I have been given the amazing title of “MOM” “MOMMY” “MOTHER”. If I said any of these things aloud, someone may knock me off of my thrown. This happens to come at a perfect time. Oh dear..I have a speaking engagement this week about empowering daughters from the classroom to the boardroom. Please don’t judge me.  I will place them here for those perfectly, imperfect moms to get an after Mother’s Day laugh. There may be some explicit content. (Just a few) 

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1. Shut thee F**k up– I will admit have wanted to use this sentence so badly as early as 3 months into mother hood! It’s like why are you crying now? You don’t have to do anything at all for your little self. A three month old has it so easy, yet they cry uncontrollably, after being fed, changed, and burped. I remember one time thinking if you are uncomfortable now..get used to it.  I know…that’s  so mean. I didn’t say it though. I just thought it. How about when the children become whining and argumentative teenagers? They are always “yapping” about what they want, what they don’t get, what they need, how much something costs…..sometimes I wish I could just give them a good old “Shut thee f**k up”! Some where out there, there is a mom that has said it at least twice. I bet she feels liberated. I bet her kids are ok. I wish I could give her a high five.

     2. What about me– Nevermind the 32 hours of labor you went through to conceive. Since that day your life has consisted of continual selflessness. Because we are strong, resilient, and don’t forget “Super woman”, how dare you say these three words “What about me”. The truth is at the end of each day, after all is said and done, that is often how we feel. Instead of saying it aloud we hold it in. Sometimes we cry silent tears and just get up and do it all over again. Why? Because that’s what we do. As I am sharing this I want to encourage every mother to not even worry about saying what about me. Steal some time and put yourself first. Do something for yourself outside of your normal everyday routine and keep it to yourself. Shhhhh Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes I go to Chick-Fil-A by myself. I get what I want. I sit in the parking lot and selfishly enjoy it. I go home and cook dinner as if everything is normal. Those 10 minutes are just so awesome. I am selfish, I saved money, and that moment is about ME.

3. GET OUT! – I don’t know about you guys, but I have wanted to put a 3 year old boy out of my home. I didn’t. He still resides in my home 9 years later, and I love him. I’ve also wanted to put out a 14 year old spoiled little girl. I think I may have told her if she didn’t like it here she had the option to leave….lol but that’s the extend of it. Oh, she’s still here and I love her. Kids can be assholes. They can do somethings to make you want to tell them, to just get out of your presence. And again, somewhere in America, there is a mom that has given up on her kids and put them out. I can’t say I want to give her a high five though, I just want to know what the child did.

The hidden truth about being a mom is we don’t know what we are doing. We are going off of the examples before us, lots of prayer (I mean I know I do), and just doing the best we can with what we have. We get up daily striving and hoping that we are raising great people. We are measured daily by what is and what is not a “good mom”. We hide our insecurities, our thoughts, our anger, our true feelings, our tears, and we get back up everyday trying. I hope this made you laugh, or even cry happy tears. Remember, remind yourself that you can be super woman, but you are not the savior. It’s ok to give that chic her cape back. We can not always save the day. We will miss the mark sometimes, but we are resilient. Be the best mom you can be, and if you have said some of these words, no judgement from me. I strongly believe you are doing the best you can with what you have. Even if it is an occasional  shut the f**  up, what about me, get out….Do it in with love, let it go, and move on. (Sidenote: I do not condone child abuse of any kind) I hope you enjoyed. Like, share, comment.

Love,

Ebony ?

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Showing 7 comments
  • Keisha Cozmanoff-Robinson
    Reply

    I love it!!! The reality is the books never tell you that you’ll have these moments and a lot of women feel like they must be horrible when they do – nope, we’ve all had them and when we look back it’s hilarious! It’s so true, our work is never done and even on Mother’s Day, I was still tired!

  • Keisha
    Reply

    OMG, my thoughts exactly. Great post, Eb!!! I loved every minute of it.

  • Chantal
    Reply

    Hilarious! I love ALL 5 of my boys…but sometimes I want to scream shit theee F up!! Lol…I don’t always care about sports, who hit this shot, the latest Jordan’s coming out and I get so tired of hearing What’s for dinner! Thank you…that was a mich needed laugh. Glad I’m not the only one to sneak off to enjoy food solo without sharing or considering what someone else wants!

  • ARLETHA
    Reply

    Loved it!
    Nope, didn’t put them out their still *here, and I never curse at them in fact not at all. Ohhhhh, but the times when I wish that I did I KNOW I would feel justice had been served….lol

    Keep loving on them and watch th grow up to be everything that God has placed in them to be.

  • Chocolate Cowgirl
    Reply

    This right here is #certified yet I dare not publicly agree ???…. Therefore I will leave you with the infamous “Well I NEVER!” and we both know what that means through and through….

  • Patrice Ellis
    Reply

    Wow good read!! Teenagers will take you to another level you didn’t even know was possible . I often thought because I had my kids at a very young age and they were acting out because of something I did or did not do. Thanks for sharing!

  • Jamaica L. Mosley
    Reply

    I love this!!! I think every mom has felt this way at some point in their life lol. The joys and struggles of parenting.

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